Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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