At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
