how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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