I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
