D3 body, D1 cock
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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