This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
