she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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