I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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