i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
