i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
