Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
