Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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