maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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