I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
