dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
