He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
