i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize