Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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