I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
