I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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