I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
