Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
