We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
