sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
