I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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