Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
