After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
