i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All the doctor said was why
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
