This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
