heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
