ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
