I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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