my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
