I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
