I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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