We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
