Duck Duck Cougar?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
