just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
