I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
