Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
