You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
