she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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