I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
