just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All the doctor said was why
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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