Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Alive.
So much puke
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
