She is in my trunk
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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