***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish i was in the wii world.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
