i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
