Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My life is pants optional.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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