this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
