So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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